


A Night on the Ocean

by VentusVulture



Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: (Slightly), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Also a lot of those tags feel very out of order, Angst, Cruise Ships, Dialogue Heavy, Enemies to Lovers, I don't really know how to write characters that already have defined personalities that well, Implied/Referenced Divorce, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, M/M, Slightly Out Of Character, Suicide Attempt, Takes place on arctic cruise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:41:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22768720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VentusVulture/pseuds/VentusVulture
Summary: He's five bottles in, why the hell can't he get drunk?
Relationships: The Conductor/DJ Grooves (A Hat in Time)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 71





	A Night on the Ocean

**Author's Note:**

> (Just in case you didn't read the tags there are some pretty heavy themes mentioned in here)  
> (So please read them)
> 
> I've been meaning to write a Conductor/Grooves fic for a while now. I actually started this one back around December 20-ish but never finished it until tonight (then again, creativity doesn't strike me often, and when it does, it's brief). A trend I've noticed recently is that I don't really feel proud of my writing until a while after I post it, so hopefully it's the same with this piece.
> 
> (Also, don't know if it's too early to call this, but "stick to one fandom" who lol)

_ Cruises are supposed to be fun,  _ the Conductor thought angrily as he stared at the water, dyed orange with the light of the setting sun.  _ I have time to myself for the first time in ages. Nobody around to bother me about movies or the train or my grandchildren. DJ Grooves has kept a considerable distance between himself and me ever since my battle with that blasted child, so he’s definitely not going to bother me. _

_...I hate this. _

He took another swig from his bottle and looked over at the five or so empty ones next to him. Either he was already drunk and didn’t know it, or he was starting to become way too tolerant to the effects of alcohol. He did not like either of these options, so he set the bottle down and resumed staring out at the sea.

Seeing the waves crashing over each other, backlit by the sunset, filled the Conductor with a deep and sudden sense of overwhelming melancholy. Those waves didn’t have to care about taxes and children and ex-wives and missed jury duty (he really wished everyone would stop contacting him about both of those).

They were freer than he was.

He sighed. What was the point of any of this? The point of  _ existing? _ He was falling through the endless void, and he could either end it now or wait for  _ anything  _ good to happen to him; cling on to some false sense of hope that it wasn’t endless; that the bottom would cushion his fall. Why wait for something that would never happen?

_ Oh, for peck’s sake, I’m making up metaphors now. I’ve gone  _ past _ the deep end by this point. _ The Conductor chugged the rest of the bottle, scowling.  _ Why the peck can’t I get drunk? _

He looked at the waters below, a sudden thought striking him.  _ I can solve all of my problems just by climbing over this railing. It’s that easy.  _ A nagging thought tugged at his brain as he got up.  _ Bah. I don’t have any unfinished business to take care of anyways, and I  _ definitely  _ won’t after this. _

He put a foot onto a bar of the railing, following with another on the bar on top, feeling slightly surprised at how little dread he felt and how quickly he’d managed to build up the courage to do it. Soon he was on top of the railing, staring out from an even higher vantage point at the ocean now.  _ Too bad this’ll be my last sight and not my train.  _ He paused.  _ Well, it’s just as beautiful anyways. _

He jumped.

Someone caught him.

The turn of events happened too quickly for the Conductor to fully grasp. “Wh- huh?” He turned to look at who had caught him. “Who-” He scowled, taking in the full features of the person holding him. “Oh, of course it would be you, you peckneck.”

DJ Grooves hoisted the Conductor back above the railing and onto a chair. “Darling, are you okay?” he asked.

The Conductor glowered at Grooves. “Why do you care? You’ve had your chances to ask me that since my battle.”

Grooves crossed his flippers. “I meant physically.”

“I’m  _ fine, _ ” the Conductor snapped. “Now get the peck out of my sight.” After a few seconds of silence between the two, the Conductor snapped, “so, what, you think you can just waltz on in here and stay? I said  _ get out. _ ”

Grooves sat down in a chair next to him. “I’m not leaving until I know you’re safe.”

“What does it matter to you that I’m safe? I’m just another roadblock on your path to success. Hell, if I was dead, you’d win every peckin’ award after.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t want you to not get hurt,” Grooves protested.

The Conductor stood up and furiously yelled, “YOU DON’T GET TO CARE ABOUT ME! YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE!”

Grooves flinched back slightly. He was silent for a second before admitting, “you’re right. I should’ve talked to you more since the fight. I’m genuinely sorry, I just… thought you needed some space after all that.” He looked up at the Conductor, a pleading look plastered across every inch of his face. “I want to help with whatever it is that’s bothering you.”

The Conductor thought for a second. “Fine. Do your worst, but you’d better make it quick.”

“I- You’re kind of the one that has to do the talking, darling.”

“There’s not much I can tell you if you don’t ask questions,  _ Grooves, _ ” the Conductor spat.

Grooves frowned. “Alright. What’s making you feel like… trying to die?”

The Conductor snorted. “What  _ isn’t? _ I’ve got grandchildren that need constant attention, an ex-wife who hates me, I lost a fight to a  _ child,  _ and now I’ve completely lost my passion for making movies.” He took another swig from his bottle of alcohol, draining it in one breath. He set it down next to the other empty bottles and smiled wryly. “Can’t even get drunk to feel anything about any of that.”

Grooves looked at the pile of bottles, now six strong, and then back at the Conductor worriedly. “Don’t you think you should hold back-”

“I only stop drinking when I’m drunk or poisoned. Don’t tell me what to do,” the Conductor growled.

“Don’t you have any… unfinished business with anyone? Responsibilities, maybe a-”

“Will I have to care about any of that when I’m dead?” Grooves fell silent. “Exactly. What’s the point in caring about that if I won’t have to care about them soon enough?”

Grooves’ frown deepened. “You know, darling, the world doesn’t revolve around you.”

“Who does it revolve around, then? You? Considering the way you act, I wouldn’t doubt you’d think that. Then again, considering how few movie awards you’ve won, I’d say that isn’t the case.”

The Conductor smirked as Grooves bristled. “I-” He took a deep breath and exhaled. “Listen, I know you’re trying to drive me away-”

“What tipped you off?”

“-But I can’t help you if you don’t open up more, darling,” Grooves finished.

“I’ve opened up plenty to you. Hell, I’ve probably told you more than I should’ve in the first place, considering you were the one that barged in here and asked me for my personal feelings. In fact, I think it’s unfair. How about you? What’s making  _ you  _ feel like killing yourself right now? What kinds of depressing things are happening in your life?”

Grooves looked extremely uncomfortable. “...Uh…” His gaze turned to the ocean. “...The sunset looks nice on the water like that, don’t you think?”

“Don’t dodge the question.”

“Why do I have to answer you anyways? I’m not the one that just tried to throw himself off of a pecking boat!” Grooves shouted. “I may be emotionally unstable, but I’m nowhere  _ near _ your level! Do you know how  _ terrifying _ it was to see you almost commit suicide? Coming in here to talk with you and seeing you about to jump into the ocean? It’s-” Grooves let out a terse breath, and much to the Conductor’s surprise, got up from his seat. “People care about you, you know,” the penguin said scathingly as he began walking away. “Maybe you should try doing the same for them sometime.”

The Conductor watched in silence as DJ Grooves disappeared into the hall. He hadn’t realized how much hearing those words coming from Grooves’ beak would  _ hurt. _ Ignoring that, he drank from another bottle of alcohol.  _ How the peck am I still conscious?  _ He gazed out to the sea once more. It suddenly didn’t seem so appealing to jump into it.

_ Don’t make me feel like I have to apologize to him,  _ the Conductor reprimanded his brain.  _ Even if I was an asshole, and even if I treated him like shit, I…  _ He sighed.  _ God pecking damn it. _

He soon found himself at the door to DJ Grooves’ room. He found his hand trembling as he held it up to knock. Peck, why was he so  _ nervous? _

Steadying his breath, he knocked on the door.

After a few seconds, Grooves opened it. “Hello th- Oh, it’s you.” His face immediately fell into the deep frown it had been in before he’d left. “What do you want from me?”

The Conductor flinched. “I, uh… I came to apologize.”

Grooves’ eyes narrowed. “That’s unlike you.”

“I- I know. It’s been a while since I’ve actually apologized to someone, so I’m sorry in advance if I peck up.”

Grooves was quiet for a second before closing the door behind the Conductor. He motioned to his bed. “Sit down.” The Conductor sat on the bed, Grooves sitting next to him. Grooves flopped down backwards onto it, pulling the Conductor with him so that his head laid on his chest. It felt too intimate to the Conductor, like some form of how he would have slept next to his ex-wife, yet he simultaneously felt at ease.

“I-I’m… really sorry. For everything I’ve ever done to you. Ever since I first met you I’ve been treating you like absolute garbage, even though you’re a genuinely good bird, for no reason at all, and… and I really shouldn’t have.”

In a hushed voice, Grooves said, “be quiet for a minute. Listen to the water.”

The Conductor obeyed. The waves were lapping calmly at the side of the stationary boat, the sounds of the ocean echoing through Grooves’ cabin. It filled him with the same sense of melancholy as before; only this time it hit him tenfold. “...I’m a horrible excuse of a bird,” he sighed.

“Yeah, that’s true,” Grooves shrugged. “But I know you have the capacity to change. You’ve already begun by apologizing to me.”

The Conductor frowned. “But… That doesn’t change anything about me. I’m still the same bird I was before.”

“You wouldn’t have apologized to me for anything before now. That means you’ve changed at least somewhat.”

“That’s not even counting my negative personality traits.”

“Like I said, you’re still pretty flawed. But change isn’t immediate; you have to get better over a long period of time.”

The Conductor looked away. “...I don’t know why you would think I’m capable of change. You’ve known me for… what, fifty or so years now? We work in the same studio, and yet I’ve never once been nice to you.”

“Except for about two minutes ago, when you came to apologize to me.”

“But that was because you came into my cabin and stopped me from killing myself. I wouldn’t have done that otherwise.”

“A lot of people say that every event in life leads up to something. Maybe that something was you apologizing.”

“Or maybe it was my three other attempted suicides,” the Conductor shrugged. “Then again, I doubt those mean anything in the grand scheme of things.”

“...Three?”

The Conductor chuckled. “You’d think after the third I’d have given up.”

Grooves folded his wings around the Conductor. “I… I’m sorry. I should’ve been there for you.”

“Eh, the past is in the past.” He paused for a second, feeling the rising and falling of Grooves’ chest against his, and his heart suddenly began to ache. “...Nobody’s done this since my wife left me.”

“Done what?”

“Just… this. In general.” He paused for a moment, thinking about what he meant. “...Cared about me, I mean.”

“Oh. I’m… sorry.”

“Quit apologizing,” the Conductor rolled his eyes. “Not like it matters anyways.  _ I _ don’t even care about myself. Practically nobody does.”

“I do.”

The Conductor was quiet for a second, and then chuckled. “I think I’m… confusing one thing for another right now. Wanting friendship for… wanting something more. Something romantic. I haven’t had anyone to love in twenty years, and… I don’t know. Maybe there is something there, maybe I’m not mistaking anything.” He looked at Grooves.

Grooves blinked. “O-oh.”

Embarrassed, the Conductor began to get up. “A-anyways. I should probably get going. I’m just making things awkward.”

“Wait, darling- I-” Grooves took a deep breath. “Charles. Please stay.”

The Conductor blinked, and then looked at him quizzically. “What?”

“I- I feel the same way. I want… I want something more too.”

“No, I mean- Charles? You think that’s my name?”

Grooves’ face reddened. “Uh…”

The Conductor laughed. For once, it wasn’t a condescending or antagonizing one; it was genuine. Grooves smiled and began laughing too.

“For you, I can be anything,” the Conductor smiled as they kissed.

For the first time that night he felt drunk, and not from the alcohol.

He felt drunk with love.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading all the way to the end! Any constructive criticism (or kudos or comments in general) would be welcome!


End file.
